For the past seventeen days I've been skiing, snowboarding, speed skating, curling and playing ice hockey.
I've executed a perfect triple lutz followed by a double toe loop.
I've delivered a rock with the right amount of curl to blank the end.
I've fearlessly raced head first on a tiny sled down a practically vertical serpentine ice track.
And I've proudly stood on the podium and belted out "O Canada" with an enormous gold medal on a blue ribbon hanging round my neck.
In my dreams, of course.
The Vancouver Winter Olympics are now just a memory. The show's over, folks, but what a show! I've been glued to the telly at every opportunity to follow the fortunes of athletes from around the world.... with special attention, of course, to our own athletes from Canada.
And didn't they do well?
Fourteen gold medals, seven silver, and five bronze. The most gold medals won by a host country ever. Congratulations to Team Canada, and congratulations to all athletes who worked so hard to be part of this world event, whether they took home a medal or not.
You are all winners in my opinion.
And the final gold medal ice hockey game..... Team Canada beat Team USA 3-2 in overtime, what a game! Canadians held their breath and crossed their fingers, and when Sidney Crosby sizzled the puck into the net, a joyful noisy celebration broke out throughout this country, you could hear the cheering from coast to coast to coast.
Sid the Kid, you've become a national hero overnight.